On June 19, Topgolf opens its newest venue in King of Prussia.
Let’s talk about the phenomenon that is Topgolf. You would think that most folks reading this column play golf and know all about Topgolf. And that’s probably true. But I have a feeling there are people reading The Back Nine who don’t care about golf but read anyway and have no clue about Topgolf. I don’t know who you are, but I’m looking forward to meeting you.
I digress…Topgolf is basically the Rock n’ Bowl of driving ranges. But it’s also a trendy bar, or is it a trendy restaurant? It’s also modern, clean and a lot of fun. There’s music, there are lights, there are multicolored targets, and donut holes you inject cream into, I kid you not. There’s a video screen to show you how far, how fast, and how accurate your last shot was. There are couches behind you so your friends and family can heckle you or admire your skills while they sip on their favorite beverages and chomp on Nachos. It is the melding of golf, entertainment, technology, and fun. I am a fan.
You could go there and practice your game. Bring your clubs and lug them into the place, rent a golf bay for some time and get yourself a stiff drink. As bad as my game is, I usually need a drink while slicing away. However, Topgolf is really about the social dynamic of golf. It’s a great way to enjoy the basics of the game (Swing at ball, Hit Ball, Repeat) but the real fun is sharing the experience with a group of friends or family.
Being good or bad at golf is almost totally irrelevant when at Topgolf. I appreciate that. You want to see if your new love interest will share your love of golf? …take them to Topgolf. You want to just putz around with friends drinking and hitting golf balls because you’ll do better at that rather than drinking and hitting on women? … go to Topgolf. You want to give your kids a birthday party with only the slight possibility of serious injury? …go to Topgolf.
Entering a Topgolf can be a little disorienting. The lights and music may overwhelm your traditional golfer used to chirping birds and a distant lawn mower. There is no denying you get an energy burst when you come into Topgolf. At your golf bay you are confronted with choices of games you can play including Angry Birds where your golf shot can topple virtual structures. Most games involve shooting at targets that stretch out in front of you. It isn’t just about hitting the ball as far as you can, although there is probably a game for that as well.
You can take the “games” as seriously or casually as your group wants. Most of my experience at Topgolf, the group ends up just taking turns hitting the balls and socializing on the couch. That being said, I have had some serious competitions at Topgolf. I’m not talking fisticuffs, but humiliation for the loser was involved, and it was not pretty.
There are three Topgolf locations in the Philly area, but one is in New Jersey, and frankly I would need to get compensation in some form or another to go to Jersey. I have been to the KOP and NE Philly Topgolf’s, and they are essentially the same thing. Reservations aren’t required, but you may want to check ahead of time, so you aren’t waiting around to play.
I did want to circle back to the Donut Hole-In-One dessert offered at Topgolf. Perhaps the most ingeniously scrumptious and disturbing food item I have ever encountered. You are given a cup full of donut holes and syringes with cream, chocolate and jelly. You get to be your own dessert evil doctor and inject as much or as little unhealthy sugar globs into the holes as your soon-to-be chubby heart desires. Brilliant!
For those with kids and those not sure if golf is their thing, Topgolf is the perfect place to see if your kids (or yourself) have the golf bug and a great place to introduce yourself and others to this amazing and agonizing sport.
(The Back Nine is a biweekly op-ed column submitted to North Penn Now, courtesy of Edward Levine. The views expressed are his own and are not representative of North Penn Now or Montgomery County.)
