Credit: Veikko Venemies / Unsplash.com
The weather is warmer. We’ve even seen the sun this week! And while I am overjoyed at nicer weather and the prospect of outdoor activities, the start of spring means I’m one more excuse short.
I’m not sure if I am what you’d really call a procrastinator. I like to think of it more as a Deadline Diva. I will make any deadline you give me. I won’t be late. I will even have it done a bit ahead of schedule. But, if I’m aware of the schedule, you can also bet that I’ll use that knowledge of a deadline to pace that work out accordingly.
Perhaps it is the nature of my profession in journalism. Perhaps I just am an OCD planner. Whatever the reason, I like having a well-constructed, thoughtful organization to my daily life.
I combine that with being, despite my best efforts, an all-or-nothing perfectionist. Yes, I logically know that perfection is unattainable. I know that it is a state I can never be. But I guess it is more the concept of “shoot for the moon, fall in the stars,” meaning I aim high and try my best, so that at the end of the day I will know I gave it my all. Once I start something and set my mind to it, I will do it. I will do it fully, consistently, and with a dedication beyond compare. But, sometimes taking that first step, well it is the toughest.
If you know me well, you can tell I’m even procrastinating admitting this struggle I currently have. I need to get in better shape. I don’t aim for my body to be perfect, because what even is that?! But I do hope to be in a healthier space. I’m getting to be of an age when that matters more. How healthy my body is will determine my future risk for any number of diseases or illnesses. (Of course, I could also be hit by a bus tomorrow, so … take it for what it’s worth. Don’t skip dessert!)
After my mom’s passing in 2020, I was hit with an all-too-real possibility of having a limited time in this world. Of course I knew already, everyone dies, but knowing my own mother was taken at such an early age, even as she had hopes and dreams for a much longer future, I guess it hit closer to home. It made me realize, not being much younger than she was, my time could be fairly limited. After all, I have 50 percent of her genes.
In 2021, I worked hard to make myself healthier. It was coincidentally a big birthday year, and combined with my loss, I was fully devoted and committed to a healthier me. On that journey, I lost 90 pounds. I worked hard, and I walked every day. I improved my diet, and never ever missed a day of walking five miles.
I spent that year and the next few deciding healthy wasn’t everything if you weren’t happy too. While the next few years included a lot of change, life disruption, and chaos … I am happy. And I can’t say I’d felt that way for quite some time.
While I’ve learned to continue the happy, I did allow my health fall to the wayside. Shifting focus to my children, a massive move, and my professional life, I somehow dropped my healthier habits and fell back into comfort foods and eating my feelings. I always think it is kind of like juggling. You’re trying to keep all the balls in the rotation, all of them up in the air at the same time. And if you focus on just one or two of the balls, some will drop.
Yes, it is another excuse. And no, there are no real excuses to pardon my failure. Whatever the reason, by the close of 2024, I’d drifted back into the comfortable junk food routine. And in January, I knew something had to change. Again. For good.
For the last four months, I’ve done a hell of a job, sticking to my plan and eating very well. I have dropped pounds. I have dedicated my eating to healthier options. It’s going well.
But I know I also need to move more. Even a 30-minute walk could improve my health vastly. I need to do it. I know this. I am happy when I walk. I like the time it gives me to think, to sort my “to-dos” and goals. I love that I can bring music along and give myself a break.
Self-esteem, confidence, a lessening of anxiety, improvements to my depression … all of these are great reasons beyond health to take my daily walks. But for some reason … I haven’t started. We had a LONG winter. (Far too long, if you ask me!) Cold weather was a solid excuse until recently. I hate being cold to the touch, but also sweating. Yes, of course I could walk on a treadmill, hit a gym, even pace around a mall, but I enjoy getting outside most.
Yes, weather and seasons are another excuse. Yes, I need to move past these and just move! Yes, I am further procrastinating by writing instead of walking this very moment.
With the weather finally shifting to tolerable outdoor temperatures, I suppose I’m nearly out of those excuses. It is time to get to it. It is time to schedule my daily walks. It is necessary. I’ll feel better. I’ll be happier. I’ll be healthier.
So, perhaps I’ll start … tomorrow…
